|
All the Way (September 17, 2001) Written by: Steven S. DeKnight Directed by: David Solomon |
||
| Teaser | ||
|
INT. MAGIC BOX - DAY (DAY 1) A banner tacked to the front counter reads "Halloween Bonanza!'! The magic box is packed with customers (some in costume) clamoring for goodies and decorations. Giles, Dawn, Willow, Tara, and Xander are helping Anya with the crush. Anya, adorned in short shorts, a tee, excessively feathered hair and roller skates, zips around like General Retail on wheels.
(to customer) Everything on this table's half off! Including the table! (to another customer) Buy one eyeball, get the second one free! ON XANDER in full pirate regalia, including an eye patch. Xander's currently explaining a jar of fire to a group of kids.
(pirate voice) Arhhh! Careful, me mateys! These be fire flies spat from a volcano off the coast of Katmandu. Arhhh! CHUNKY KID XANDER Xander thrusts his hand up at the kids. Sure enough, he's wearing a fake pirate's hook. The kids squeal, including Chunky.
Hello! Ahab! A little help? XANDER Xander moves over to assist Giles at the swamped register. Giles is decked out in his opening day wizard robe from Season 5, sans hat. Xander, Giles, and Anya are the only one of our Gang in costume. Anya skates past with Dawn following alongside.
So what are you supposed to be? ANYA DAWN ANYA DAWN ANYA TARA DAWN ANYA TARA ON WILLOW arguing with a woman dressed as a classic ugly witch. Willow punctuates her words with a Remedial Witchcraft book.
All I'm saying is you might want to rethink the stereotype before someone turns you into a toad. Witch Woman snatches the book out of her hand and huffs off.
While you're at it, try pulling that broomstick out of your -- Dawn! DAWN WILLOW A LITTLE GIRL walks up in a witchy-poo outfit, wearing a mask adorned with hairy moles and a grin crammed with rotten teeth.
Do you have candy corn? Willow instantly bursts into a huge smile.
Aw, look at you! Aren't you just the cutest little thing! DAWN WILLOW Willow leads her off. Dawn watches her in disbelief -- until a gold coin with a serpent crest catches her eye on a table next to her. She glances around and furtively slips it into her pocket. She shifts into extra innocent as Anya zips past.
Buffy, we're running low on Mandrake root. Check the basement! Buffy is just coming out of the back room carrying a box brimming with Magic Box oddities. She frowns sourly at the basement door.
Okay, but don't blame me if we have this same conversation over and... INT. MAGIC BOX - BASEMENT - NIGHT Buffy comes down the stairs.
... over and over and -- She hits the landing, turns -- and nearly runs into Spike. She gasps, glares.
Bell. Neck. Look into it. Buffy moves over to the shelves. Spike follows her.
Come with a nice leather collar, does it? BUFFY SPIKE BUFFY Spike holds up a handful of vile looking weeds.
Came through the tunnels. Running low on Burba weed. Stir it in with the blood, makes it all hot and spicy. Buffy stares at him, a mixture of disgust and disinterest.
What, I was gonna pay for it. I mean, no, I was gonna nick it. 'Cause that's what I do. I go where I please and take what I want and what's your excuse anyway? Thought you had it to the brim with customer disservice. BUFFY Spike takes a bottle of misshapen, almost human looking mandrake root from a top shelf, hands it to her. They're close to each other, the air suddenly charged between them.
Three to a jar. They tend to go a bit wonky if you cram 'em too close. BUFFY SPIKE BUFFY SPIKE BUFFY SPIKE BUFFY SPIKE Off he goes. Buffy sighs as she heads up the stairs.
So much easier to talk to when he just wanted to kill me. INT. MAGIC BOX - CONTINUOUS - DAY The noise of the crowd assaults Buffy as she reenters. She grimaces, overwhelmed. Anya skates past, snatching the bottle of Mandrake root from her.
Go help Giles! Giles is hip deep in customers at the cash register.
What happened to Xander? GILES BUFFY GILES BUFFY GILES BUFFY She snaps open a bag and wades into the job. EXT. STREET/KALTENBACH'S HOUSE - DAY 4 The sun is sinking. Children in costume are already out making their candy rounds. KALTENBACH, a crusty old man in a crusty old suit, ambles down the sidewalk with a grocery bag, softly humming "Pop Goes the Weasel." He reaches his dilapidated house, the kind of spooky, rundown two-story faux Victorian job that every town has. He ambles up to the rickety front porch, passing signs that warn Keep Off Lawn and No Soliciting! INT. KALTENBACH'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY The inside of his house is a cavernous, shadowy affair filled with creepy taxidermy and musty old toys from the 5Os. Santa Claus via Norman Bates. Kaltenbach ambles into the kitchen, still humming "Pop Goes the Weasel." INT. KALTENBACH'S HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY Kaltenbach is cooking. A huge pot boils on the stove. CHILDREN SCREAM from outside. He peeks out the window, eyeing a group of kids in costume running down the street, laughing and screaming. He chuckles, softly singing his own version of "Pop Goes the Weasel" as he returns to his cooking.
Da da da da da-da-da-da, happy Hallowe-en, Give you something special this year, da da da-da da! He pulls a gleaming BUTCHER KNIFE from a creaky old drawer. It catches the light and gleams. The schmuck be baited.
BLACK OUT.
|
||
| Act One | ||
|
INT. MAGIC BOX - NIGHT Dawn ushers the last customer out.
(brightly) Come again... She flips the CLOSED sign and sags against the door.
in a zillion years. The store looks like the aftermath of a battle. The gang's sprawled on chairs and draped over counters.
Store go boom. (weak pirate voice) Arh. ANYA Xander frowns at her. The most incredible?
(to Xander) Except for that. (to gang) What you all did for me tonight, the astounding heaps of money you helped me - - Giles clears his throat.
You helped us acquire. All I can say is... I hope we make as much tomorrow! BUFFY ANYA The gang groans. Giles wearily rises.
Brooms all around, then? WILLOW GILES He hands her a broom and dust pan, moves off. Willow grumbles.
Think I'm a little more adept than a cartoon mouse. TARA Buffy is wearily straightening up the war table with Xander.
You know if you had a real peg leg, you wouldn't just have a lame costume. You'd actually be lame, which is a whole other-- She turns to Xander, but his attention's focused on Anya. She's behind the cash register with wads of cash in each hand, doing the shimmy and shake with Dawn.
(dancing, giggling) You do this every night? ANYA Xander raises his eye patch so he can take Anya in with two good peepers. He's totally, completely smitten.
(soft - to himself) I'm gonna marry that girl. BUFFY XANDER ANYA XANDER DAWN TARA WILLOW Xander takes Anya in, mesmerized.
Big wow. ANYA XANDER He sweeps her into his arms and plants a serious Clark Gable on her. It takes her breath away.
(swooning, to Dawn) Here, have some money. She hands Dawn the cash in her hand, then goes back to the deep kissing. Buffy whispers to Giles.
Did you know about this? GILES Giles takes off his glasses, cleans them.
Is that why you're always cleaning your glasses? So you don't have to see what we're doing? GILES Buffy stares in disbelief at the lip-locked couple.
Giles, this is -- We have to do something... INT. BUFFY'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Music blares. An impromptu engagement party is in full swing. Anya and Xander are still in their costumes.
...and he said he couldn't imagine the rest of his life without me and then he gave me this! Anya proudly displays her engagement ring on her finger.
Which I'll be paying for the rest of my life with her. DAWN ANYA Buffy and Giles appear from the kitchen with drinks.
Where I come from this sort of thing requires much in the way of libation. XANDER BUFFY ANYA TARA WILLOW
Willow waves her hand. The house is suddenly decorated with Japanese ribbons and paper lanterns. Anya beams.
This is so much better than the way it usually looks. Thank you! She hugs Willow. Tara catches Giles' look of concern. Was that bit of conjuring really necessary? INT. BUFFY'S HOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT Tara is helping Willow refill the chip bowl.
(tentatively) The grocery store's still open. We could have bought decorations. WILLOW TARA Willow laughs Tara's concern off.
You can also fight monsters "naturally" with sticks and stones. Don't really recommend it, though. TARA WILLOW TARA WILLOW TARA WILLOW TARA WILLOW TARA Tara spots Dawn standing in the doorway, stops. She's obviously heard what they're arguing about.
Sorry. Just checking on the chips. WILLOW Willow takes the chip bowl and exits with Dawn. Tara sags. Yep, that went well. INT. BUFFY'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Buffy has Xander in a big Slayer-powered hug.
You're getting married. You. XANDER BUFFY XANDER Mixed emotions swirl across Buffy's face.
I'm out of commission for three months and you... How many other things have changed since I've been away? Dawn and Willow enter. Dawn munches from the chip bowl.
I got a tattoo. BUFFY WILLOW DAWN BUFFY DAWN She kisses Xander on the cheek.
Congratulations. (to Anya) You're so lucky, finding a guy like him. XANDER Xander gives Anya a soft kiss. Buffy can't help but feel a little envious of their happiness. Dawn grabs her sweater.
See you guys tomorrow. BUFFY DAWN BUFFY DAWN BUFFY XANDER ANYA BUFFY GILES DAWN EXT. MAIN STREET - NIGHT Filled with Trick or Treaters and partiers in costume. Dawn roams the street, all satisfied smiles. She slips down an alley, taking a shortcut. EXT. ALLEY - NIGHT Dawn traipses merrily down the alley, but her smile drops as she hears a disembodied MOAN further down. She peers into the gloom. Spooky spooky schmuck bait.
Hello? She inches forward. The MOAN sounds again. It's coming from behind some stacked barrels concealed in the shadows. Dawn picks up a scrap of wood to use as a club. She inches up around the barrels -- and gasps. Two costumed teens are necking heavy.
Hey! GIRL DAWN WHAM! Something grabs Dawn from behind. She yelps, whirls around. It's JANICE. Fifteen, long dark hair like Dawn, and the perpetual twinkle of impending mischief in her eyes.
Hey, Summers. Get an eyeful of the grope-fest? Maybe you are a perv. DAWN GIRL JANICE DAWN JANICE DAWN JANICE EXT. PARK - NIGHT THRASH MUSIC blares from a boom box. ZACK, 17, is standing on a swing, hooting as he arcs higher and higher.
Hoo hoo hoo! To infinity and -- WHACK! An empty soda can bonks him in the head.
Ow! ANGLE ON JUSTIN, also 17, all American cute with a killer smile. Definite air of James Dean, down to the black work boots, jeans, and leather jacket -- which is pretty much standard issue for him and his rowdy friends MARLA, CHRISTY, and GLENN.
Oops. JANICE Zack spots Janice and Dawn walking up. He leaps off the swing and grabs Janice into a big hug.
Hey, baby! What took ya? JANICE She kisses the spot where the soda can hit his forehead.
Zack, this is my friend Dawn I was telling you about. Zack gives Dawn the roving eye. Yowza!
Hell-o! Janice slugs him in the shoulder.
Ow! Justin sidles up.
(to Dawn) Hey. Justin. He shakes her hand with a shy grin.
(nervous) I know. I've seen you around at a couple of parties. He takes Dawn in with a warm, shy smile.
I've seen you too. Dawn practically blushes to death. Justin and Zack's friends yell over as they move off. |